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You Know You’re Obsessed with The Civil War When…

Created on 17 July 2012

courier-104I know what you’re thinking: you’re the biggest Civil War buff on the planet, right? You consider yourself a hardcore fanatic, who eats, sleeps, and breathes Civil War. Well, maybe there are a few things for you to ponder before you declare yourself king. Reenactors notwithstanding, because those people really are in a world of their own, this list is designed to draw the line between the casual reader/enthusiast and the obsessed!

 

You know you’re obsessed with the Civil War when…

 

You’ve driven around Gettysburg battlefield with the windows open, blasting Randy Edelman’s soundtrack.

You’ve taken pilgrimages to “Stonewall” Jackson’s arm and Daniel Sickles’ leg.

You’ve yelled at someone for littering on a battlefield.

You’ve climbed Little Round Top or Kennesaw Mountain in the height of the summer to get the full experience.

If it is thundering at night, you’ve laid in bed with the TV off pretending it is cannon-fire, and that you’re in the middle of the war.

You’re an aspiring stand-up comedian who has a monologue devoted to McClellan’s Peninsula Campaign.

You’ve worn a Civil War uniform to work and didn’t get fired.

You’ve carried a cavalry saber to work and didn’t get fired.

You’ve fired off a musket at work and didn’t get got fired.

You have a different Civil War t-shirt for every day of the week.

Your name is Lawrence and don’t like when people call you Lawrence.

You have battle anniversaries written on your calendar.

You watch reruns of Civil War Journal at 3 am on the History Channel.

You’re losing sleep out of anticipation for just the Copperhead teaser trailer.

You’ve written letters to the History Channel showing disgust for their Gettysburg documentary.

You know who Galusha Pennypacker is.

You’ve laid down to have your picture taken in the same spot as this guy:

gettysburg-sniper

You can pronounce William Taliaferro’s last name the southern way.

You wake up in the middle of the night screaming, “We are the flank!”

You took out a second mortgage on your house to afford a vacation to every single battlefield in the country.

You’ve grown mutton chops.

You’ve memorized the entire order of battle of both armies for Chancellorsville.

You know how many bullets were fired at Wilson’s Creek.

You’ve watched Gettysburg and Gods and Generals back to back…without taking a break.

You’ve named a pet after a Civil War general.

You have both Union and Confederate flags hanging on the walls in your room.

You salute people instead of shaking hands.

You have a life-size cardboard cutout of Lewis Armistead standing in your office.

You choose to eat hardtack even with a pantry full of junk food and goodies in your house

Your favorite song is a rock version of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”.

You have “Dixie” as your ringtone.

You and your “Civil War Buddies” have reenacted small skirmishes with cap guns in your back yard.

You either have, or know someone who has a “Don’t blame me, I voted for Jeff Davis” bumper sticker.

Your John Wilkes Booth bobble-head doll is placed slightly behind and to the left of your Lincoln one.

Your Facebook political views are set to “Copperhead”.

 

 

and lastly…

 

You stood on one leg and sucked on a lemon while reading James I. Robertson’s biography of “Stonewall” Jackson.

Okay, so maybe I am guilty of a few of these things (certainly not all…as of yet, anyway), but so what? It’s okay to be obsessed with something in your life, especially if it is educational and fun. So, where do you rank? What did you learn about yourself? Are you crazier, or perhaps more normal than you originally thought?